Baby Fat

O.K., I wouldn't say that I'm overweight but I can't seem to loose that last bit of tummy fat from having The Monkey two and a half years ago. This fact became abundantly clear on Christmas day. I was given a pair of Levi's 501 Shrink to Fit jeans from Tom for Christmas. I love 501s because in the past they have always fit great and lasted forever. Excited I ripped the tags off and threw the jeans in the washer and dryer. When I began to put them on, I realized that they were a little tight. While trying to figure out how to make them fit, I laid down on the bed and assumed the downward gut-sucking button the jeans pose for a couple a minutes. Deep breath and...hold it...keep holding...that's it, done. I got up, did the bend the knees to stretch out the jeans pose a couple of times and thought, "Whooaaa, these are tight, but they should be O.K., I mean, my jeans always stretch out a little and I end up constantly pulling them up throughout the day. Oooh, they'll be fine." I went out to show Tom and The Bubby. They thought the jeans looked good, until I lifted my shirt. We've been together eleven years now. Tom said nothing. The Bubby smiled awkwardly. I got busy getting food ready for the potluck we were going to that night. Tom, The Bubby and Monkey left. I was alone. Feeling a little lightheaded, I keep thinking, "Whoa, these are tight. Oh, they'll stretch out." After about forty-five minutes, I began to loose feeling in my right leg. I became hypoxic, though I'm still not sure, if it was the Bailey's or not. Vanity dies hard. The jeans came off. I don't believe in New Year's resolutions but we will see what happens.